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17AprApril 17, 2024

Episode 92: Learning that her Identity is not the crown

Salima Jadavji2025-07-05T07:58:55-04:00

Guest: Sarah CestnickSarah delves into a moment when she was 10 years old experiencing her very first panic attack, not knowing what it was at the time. Growing up in a Christian faith, Sara believed that she would get the support she needed given her belief that God helps to...

By Salima Jadavjimental health, podcast#podcast #mentalhealthLike: 0
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A gentler way to speak to yourself. The way you s A gentler way to speak to yourself. The way you speak to yourself matters. Many people offer patience, understanding, and compassion to others, but struggle to offer that same kindness inward. A mistake they would forgive in someone else becomes something they criticize themselves for. A difficult moment becomes evidence that they are not doing enough. A challenge becomes a reason to question their own abilities. You might notice: πŸ’œ You focus more on what went wrong than what went well. πŸ’œ You hold yourself to standards you would not expect from others. πŸ’œ You minimize your own efforts or accomplishments. πŸ’œ You feel like kindness toward yourself needs to be earned. Self-criticism often develops as a way to protect us. For many people, being hard on themselves became a way to avoid mistakes, stay prepared, maintain control, or prevent disappointment. These patterns often develop for a reason. But over time, harsh self-talk can contribute to shame, fear of failure, emotional exhaustion, and disconnection from yourself. A gentler way to speak to yourself does not mean ignoring growth or avoiding accountability. It means creating the internal safety needed to learn, reflect, and move forward. Try this: πŸ’œ Pause when you notice self-criticism. πŸ’œ Ask, β€œWould I speak to someone I care about this way?” πŸ’œ Recognize your effort, not only your outcome. πŸ’œ Offer yourself the compassion you freely give others. The relationship you have with yourself matters. Sometimes healing begins by choosing a voice that supports you instead of one that constantly pushes you. Learn more at www.daretoheal.co Salima Jadavji, MSW, RSW, C.Hypβ„’ #SelfCompassion #SelfAwareness #EmotionalWellbeing
Hey there, Dare to 'Heal-er' What does it feel li Hey there, Dare to 'Heal-er' What does it feel like to engage in self-care without the pressure? For many people, self-care has become another responsibility to manage. It can start to feel like another expectation, another habit to maintain, or another way to measure whether we are doing enough. But meaningful self-care is not about adding more to your life. It is about creating space to notice what you need. It may look like resting when your body asks for rest, pausing before pushing through, listening instead of overriding yourself, and allowing your needs to matter. For many of us, our relationship with self-care has been shaped by what we learned to prioritize. When we spend years focusing on productivity, achievement, responsibility, or caring for others, we may learn to disconnect from our own signals. We may continue despite exhaustion, ignore emotional and physical cues, feel guilty when we slow down, or believe that rest needs to be earned. These patterns are often adaptations. Over time, pushing through can become automatic. As adults, this may show up as difficulty recognizing what we need, discomfort when resting, guilt when setting boundaries, feeling responsible for everyone else’s wellbeing, or feeling disconnected from what genuinely restores us. You may be carrying beliefs that your needs should come after everyone else’s, that rest is only allowed once everything is complete, or that slowing down means falling behind. There is so much to unlearn. Self-care without pressure begins with gently reconnecting with yourself. This may look like checking in with yourself before automatically saying yes, creating moments that bring you back to yourself, letting your needs become part of the conversation, and practicing gentleness during seasons of change. Self-care is not a luxury. It is a way of building a relationship with yourself where your wellbeing matters. You do not have to earn care. You are worthy of receiving it. Healing often begins with a simple question: β€œWhat would support me right now?” Explore therapy here: https://daretoheal.co/ Salima Jadavji, MSW, RSW, C.Hypβ„’ #SelfCare #SelfCompassion #EmotionalWellbeing
There is a particular kind of emotional exhaustion There is a particular kind of emotional exhaustion that does not come from doing too much, but from constantly questioning yourself. It can show up quietly in the...: πŸ’œ second-guessing decisions that once felt clear. πŸ’œ searching for reassurance before trusting your own judgment. πŸ’œ replaying choices and wondering if you made the β€œright” one. πŸ’œ feeling disconnected from your own voice, needs, or intuition. This is often what happens when self-trust has been slowly impacted over time. Many people learn to look outside of themselves for answers. They ask: Did I handle that correctly? Was my reaction valid? Should I have done something differently? Can I trust myself to make this decision? Over time, the constant need for reassurance can create distance from your own inner knowing. Not because you are incapable of making decisions. But because experiences of criticism, invalidation, uncertainty, or overwhelm can teach you to doubt yourself before you even begin. Mental beauty begins with rebuilding that relationship with yourself. This may look like: πŸ’œ Listening to your needs without immediately dismissing them. πŸ’œ Making decisions without requiring constant external validation. πŸ’œ Offering yourself compassion when things do not go as planned. πŸ’œ Trusting that you can navigate challenges, even when uncertainty exists. Self-trust is not something that disappears forever. It is something that can be rebuilt through awareness, compassion, and practice. Learning to trust yourself again is a form of mental beauty. If you notice patterns of self-doubt, overthinking, anxiety, or difficulty trusting your own decisions, therapy can support you in reconnecting with yourself and building a stronger relationship with your own inner voice. Learn more or book a session at www.daretoheal.co Salima Jadavji, MSW, RSW, C.Hypβ„’ #MentalBeauty #SelfTrust #SelfCompassion #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfAwareness
Healing is not about never feeling difficult emoti Healing is not about never feeling difficult emotions. It is about changing the way you relate to them. Many of us learn to push away emotions that feel uncomfortable. We may tell ourselves: β€œI shouldn’t feel this way.” β€œI need to get over it.” β€œI don’t have time to deal with this right now.” But emotions are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are often signals trying to bring your attention to something important. Your emotions may be communicating: πŸ’œ A need that has been overlooked. πŸ’œ A boundary that needs attention. πŸ’œ An experience that has not been fully processed. πŸ’œ A value that feels out of alignment. πŸ’œ A part of yourself that needs compassion. When you fight what you feel, the emotion often becomes something you have to manage, suppress, or avoid. But when you begin listening, you create space to understand yourself more deeply. Healing may look like: πŸ’œ Noticing emotions without judging yourself for having them. πŸ’œ Asking what your feelings may be trying to communicate. πŸ’œ Creating space for difficult experiences instead of immediately pushing them away. πŸ’œ Responding to yourself with compassion instead of criticism. πŸ’œ Learning that emotions can be felt without taking over. This does not mean every emotion is a fact or that every feeling requires immediate action. It means allowing yourself to listen with curiosity. Sometimes the emotions we most want to avoid are the ones that help us understand what we need. Healing begins when you stop fighting what you feel and start listening to what it is trying to tell you. If this resonates and you are navigating emotional overwhelm, self-criticism, anxiety, burnout, or difficulty connecting with your needs, support is available. Book a free 15-minute therapy consultation here: www.daretoheal.co/book With care, Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hypβ„’ #EmotionalHealing #SelfAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfCompassion #TherapySupport
Let’s Talk About the Fear of Disappointing Others… Let’s Talk About the Fear of Disappointing Others… For many people, the fear of disappointing others is not just about wanting to be liked. It can become a pattern of constantly monitoring, adjusting, and making sure everyone else is okay. At first, it can sound like: πŸ’œ β€œI don’t want them to be upset with me.” πŸ’œ β€œI should have done more.” πŸ’œ β€œI need to make sure everyone is taken care of.” πŸ’œ β€œI can handle it, even if I’m exhausted.” But over time, something deeper can begin to happen. You start prioritizing everyone else’s needs before your own. The fear of disappointing others may show up as: πŸ’œ Overthinking conversations after they happen. πŸ’œ Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. πŸ’œ Saying yes when you need to say no. πŸ’œ Avoiding conflict, even when something matters to you. πŸ’œ Feeling guilty when you take time for yourself. πŸ’œ Struggling to ask for support. Here is the thing: This pattern often develops for a reason. For some people, being helpful, agreeable, or dependable became a way to create safety, maintain connection, or avoid conflict. Your nervous system learned that staying aware of others’ needs could help you feel secure. But constantly adapting to keep others comfortable can leave you disconnected from yourself. Healing begins with noticing: πŸ’œ Where am I overriding my own needs? πŸ’œ What am I afraid might happen if someone is disappointed in me? πŸ’œ What would it feel like to care for others without abandoning myself? Caring for others does not require you to disappear. You can be compassionate and still have boundaries. You can disappoint someone and still be a good person. If this resonates and you are noticing patterns of people-pleasing, anxiety, difficulty setting boundaries, or feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, therapy can support you in building self-trust and healthier relationships. Explore support here: www.daretoheal.co Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hypβ„’ #PeoplePleasing #AnxietySupport #HealthyBoundaries #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfTrust #DareToHeal
Have you ever noticed that fear does not always so Have you ever noticed that fear does not always sound like fear? Sometimes, it sounds like being practical. It sounds like: πŸ’œ β€œNow is not the right time.” πŸ’œ β€œI need to think about this more.” πŸ’œ β€œI should wait until I feel more prepared.” πŸ’œ β€œI do not want to make the wrong choice.” Sometimes these thoughts are genuine wisdom. They help you reflect, consider your options, and make intentional decisions. But sometimes, fear can disguise itself as logic. It can become a way of avoiding uncertainty, discomfort, or the possibility of change. You may notice this pattern when you: πŸ’œ Overthink every possible outcome. πŸ’œ Wait until you feel completely ready before beginning. πŸ’œ Focus mostly on what could go wrong. πŸ’œ Keep searching for certainty that may not exist. πŸ’œ Stay with what is familiar, even when something within you wants something different. These patterns are not a sign that something is wrong with you. They are often protective responses. Your brain is designed to look for safety. It tries to protect you from rejection, disappointment, failure, and uncertainty. But sometimes, the same strategies that once helped you feel safe can keep you from growing. A helpful reflection: πŸ’œ Is this thought helping me make a thoughtful decision, or helping me avoid discomfort? πŸ’œ What am I afraid might happen if I move forward? πŸ’œ What would I choose if I trusted myself a little more? Growth does not mean eliminating fear. It means learning that you can take meaningful steps while fear is still present. If you are noticing patterns of anxiety, overthinking, avoidance, or feeling stuck in familiar patterns, therapy can support deeper self-awareness and change. Explore support here: www.daretoheal.co/book Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hypβ„’ #AnxietySupport #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #Overthinking #EmotionalWellbeing #DareToHeal
Do you find it difficult to let your guard down? Do you find it difficult to let your guard down? For many people, vulnerability does not feel natural. It can feel uncomfortable to be seen, ask for support, or admit that things feel hard. Especially if you have learned that being strong, capable, or in control is what helps you feel safe. You may find yourself: πŸ’œ Minimizing what you are going through. πŸ’œ Telling yourself β€œI’m fine” even when you are struggling. πŸ’œ Feeling uncomfortable asking for help. πŸ’œ Trying to handle everything on your own. πŸ’œ Keeping parts of yourself hidden to avoid feeling exposed. Sometimes, staying guarded develops as a way to protect yourself. You may have learned that relying on yourself feels safer, that showing emotions could lead to disappointment, or that needing support means you are not strong enough. But constantly holding everything together can become exhausting. Over time, it can leave you feeling: πŸ’œ Disconnected from your own needs. πŸ’œ Emotionally drained from always being β€œthe strong one.” πŸ’œ Afraid of being a burden to others. πŸ’œ Unsure how to receive care and support. Letting your guard down does not mean sharing everything with everyone. It means creating space for safe connection. It means allowing yourself to be human. Healing can begin with small steps: πŸ’œ Noticing when you feel the need to hide what you are experiencing. πŸ’œ Practicing asking for support in safe relationships. πŸ’œ Allowing yourself to acknowledge your needs without judgment. πŸ’œ Learning that vulnerability and strength can exist together. You do not have to carry everything alone. If you are navigating anxiety, emotional exhaustion, difficulty trusting support, or feeling like you always have to stay in control, therapy can help you explore these patterns with compassion. Book a free 15-minute therapy consultation here: www.daretoheal.co/book With care, Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hypβ„’ #Vulnerability #TherapySupport #EmotionalWellbeing #AnxietySupport #SelfCompassion #MentalHealthAwareness #DareToHeal
Many people experience anxiety without it being ob Many people experience anxiety without it being obvious to others. From the outside, you may appear calm, capable, and like you have everything under control. But internally, your experience may feel very different. Masked anxiety can look like: πŸ’œ Saying β€œI’m fine” when you are carrying a lot internally. πŸ’œ Over-preparing because mistakes feel difficult to tolerate. πŸ’œ Staying productive even when you feel overwhelmed. πŸ’œ Hiding your stress because you do not want others to worry. πŸ’œ Feeling exhausted from constantly trying to hold everything together. Anxiety does not always look like panic. Sometimes, it looks like being the person who always shows up, handles responsibilities, and keeps going while quietly carrying stress behind the scenes. You may notice thoughts like: πŸ’œ β€œI should be able to handle this.” πŸ’œ β€œI just need to try harder.” πŸ’œ β€œI don’t want anyone to know I’m struggling.” πŸ’œ β€œIf I prepare enough, I can prevent something from going wrong.” These patterns often develop as ways of creating safety and managing uncertainty. Preparing, planning, and staying alert can feel protective. But constantly being in that state can become exhausting over time. A few reminders: πŸ’œ You do not need to look overwhelmed to deserve support. πŸ’œ Functioning does not mean you are not struggling. πŸ’œ Rest does not need to be earned through exhaustion. πŸ’œ You are allowed to be supported, even when you are still showing up. Awareness is often the first step toward creating more self-compassion and space for yourself. If you notice patterns of anxiety, overthinking, perfectionism, or feeling like you always have to hold everything together, support is available. Explore therapy with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hypβ„’ #MaskedAnxiety #AnxietySupport #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfCompassion #TherapySupport #DareToHeal
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