Author: Salima Jadavji

Cindy conveys that no one really understands what a marriage is going through behind closed doors and what it is like to be married to a ‘covert narcissist’. She shares that this is a difficult personality to identify and has a grave impact on a person’s sense of worth and mental well-being. She describes the experience to include gas-lighting, subtle and unseen manipulations, and a great deal of oppression. Cindy mentioned that she was afraid of being alone, she wasn’t in a position of recognizing red flags, and in hindsight is able to now see that there was a parallel between the mannerisms of her father and husband of the time. She indicated during the midst of the marriage falling apart, she was reliant on substances and through the divorce, initially there was depression and a great deal of anxiety. Cindy’s experience taught her to rise above and put her game face on, though she says that sweeping issues under the rug didn’t make issues disappear, it only built up further until she felt lost. She shared that it took five years to come to terms with the need for divorce. She learned to lead, did her work to lead, not letting the lawyer be in the driver’s seat, she was able to call the shots and be the one in charge. Her key message to the listeners is that: take it slow, it’s a marathon not a sprint; you need more than just a lawyer for support; acquire third party support to help navigate the process; unpack the traumas that the divorce brings; and keep your focus on a response rather than a reaction.

Guest Bio: Cindy is the driven and compassionate leader and CEO behind ‘Divorce ReDefined’, a Vancouver-based separation and divorce coaching practice. Cindy sees that divorce can be a messy, stressful, and particularly raw experience and few truly understand the process, know their options or how to cope with and manage this major life transition most effectively. After going through her own divorce, Cindy felt inspired to help others successfully navigate this difficult time in their lives.

As a Certified Separation, Divorce, Career and Transition Coach, Cindy created her unique practice to help people on an international level through every stage of their divorce and beyond to redefining themselves in their new chapter of life. The goal of Cindy’s vision of creating Divorce ReDefined is to lead the charge of changing the experience of divorce. Living by the mantra, “When we know better, we do better”, she is on a mission to eradicate the stigma around divorce by redefining the entire experience.

Passionate about:

All the many professionals who are really coming together to change the experience of divorce and the many that have contributed in some way to Divorce ReDefined:  Website: www.divorceredefined.ca

Clubhouse: https://clubhousedb.com/user/redefinedivorce

Svetlana’s story begins when she talks about building her first business in Russia, during a time where she had to deal with not-organized Russian Mafia. She claims it was a disaster as the Mafia were forming different groups. As soon as privatization was born in her country, that meant she could own a business, and so she immediately took her first steps to get registered and started her venture. Being one of the first female entrepreneurs in Russia, she learned all her skills from men, she got to know the banking system were boxes of money, there was opportunity to make money fast, however, it came with a price. She explains that it was the experience of criminal activities, the more money she had, the more problems she had, as there were 12 groups that had to be paid off. Svetlana shares that there was need to pay people to protect her and her family, she witnessed criminal torture, and it wasn’t until the time where threat was placed on her son, this was her defining moment where she made the decision to immigrate to Canada. She speaks about the abuse that she endured from her former husband, and the strife and struggle it was to adjust to a new country with limited support, language barriers, though feeling the toughness, she felt welcomed into the country which allowed her to build skills, learn and grow. Her key message to the listeners is to: surround yourself with positive people — it takes effort and time; learn to communicate; dreams big or small take time to build, but take the time to build it anyway; never give up or settle; lead with tremendous love for all people; and engage in the world.

Guest Bio: Svetlana was born in Moscow, Russia and immigrated to Canada in 1994. She commenced her leadership journey at the tender age of 20, when she became one of the first female entrepreneurs in Moscow. In Canada her career path journeyed through a major market research firm working with some of the largest companies in the world as clients; she became a head-hunter for pharmaceutical companies; in 2001 Svetlana launched Terra Naturals Inc. with the mission to improve lives with natural, petroleum free body care products. Over the years, she has proven her ability to combine innovative concepting and deep understanding of global consumer insight, allowing the vision to be carried from idea to execution.

Svetlana is a collaborative, insightful, and innovative creative strategist. She is a motivator, communicator, relationship builder and developer of top talent. She supports entrepreneurs of small to medium-sized businesses, leaders, and professionals to achieve their aspirations and bring their dreams to life. She enjoys working directly with young people to help them to explore enterprise as viable and sustainable paths to secure their socio-economic futures.

Passionate about:

She has founded a non-profit social enterprise of immigrant women entrepreneurs and enjoys walking alongside these women in their journeys and pursuits.

https://immigrantwomeninbusiness.com

Shelly uncovers what it was like to be bullied at school, residing in a small town where there are ‘small town unspoken rules’ to abide by, dating all the way back during her pre-teen and teen years, and the emphasis on one particular year that took a toll on her overall mental well-being. It is from this experience that she believes self-worth has been her core life-long issue in her journey and therefore, she must implement consistent strategies and tools to combat that unwanted voice from showing up. She spoke about her love for life, her extroverted personality and strong voice and the inner feeling of being able to do anything she wanted, quickly came to a halt when the bullying she faced exacerbated. Shelly shares how it felt to go from an extrovert to an introvert, how she felt so “little”, and would proceed with caution as she felt the need to tip-toe around her peers. She mentioned not having any support, no one really checking in on her or opening safe dialogue for her to converse, she just went silent. During the toughest part, she held back from things she liked doing, she didn’t feel worthy or good enough, there was a great deal of pressure that she placed on herself, there was a need to be amazing at any task she was assigned. She talks about self-awareness that she cultivated, she matured faster, was able to tap into inner resources, and has allowed herself to connect to community. Her key message to the listeners is that: tap into those fears, unlearn behaviours that hold you back, your voice and story matter, when you feel down and low, reach out to people and help them understand what you are going through — even when you don’t feel like it, don’t let your past define you, and whatever you are sensing and feeling no matter how awful it is, you have the power to beat it down.

Guest Bio: Shelly is an engaging and passionate LinkedIn Trainer and Speaker who coaches executives, leaders, women leaders, departments, as well as corporate teams. Inspiring individuals to maximize their professional branding potential and their social influence online by mastering the Art of Social Reciprocity and flow of social engagement. Shelly is driven to create a solid and equitable foundation and culture, so all people feel accepted, valued, & worthy.

Shelly is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), recognized as a Woman you Need to Know by the National Women Speakers Association, a Women of Achievement, a Forbes and Thrive Global Writer, Woman of Inspiration Winner 2019, and on the global list of LinkedIn Training Experts as well as trusted speaker for LinkedIn Canada. Shelly is also an Author, animal lover-and firewalker!

Passionate about:

The #decidetobekind movement https://linkedexpress.ca/decide-to-be-kind/

Parul goes all in to talk about what it is like to struggle with anxiety, depression, and insomnia and when all three came to heads with each other — there was no amount of   coping strategies or tools to equip her for what she was facing on her own. She openly shares how much she internalized and protected herself from the outside world and how this translated as showing up as high functioning despite the inner turmoil she faced. She expressed feeling an empty feeling not known to her, she was unable to experience joy, she had given so much of herself that her depleted energy could not handle anything more. Parul speaks about her path to reconnect with childhood trauma, the courage she needed to pull it up from those suppressed places, and how it just took one person to recognize that she wasn’t coping well to ask her how she was, and for Parul to take that opportunity to face her truth. When Parul describes facing her reality, she felt it was a start to exploring healing from all angles, not just pharmaceutical interventions which was a journey of its own, but also looking into alternative medicine and other resources that she could tap into to help her dig deeper and heal from deep within. One thing Parul was clear about is that she didn’t want a band-aid solution, she was looking for true growth, and genuine healing right to her core. She takes a stand to talk about the importance of mental health, by humanizing, normalizing, and neutralizing conversations and creating safe spaces to explore the discomfort. Her key message to the listeners is that: be patient and kind to yourself; be open to trying new modes of healing that could help and find what truly works for you; give your options a chance, if one therapist is not a good fit, try another but don’t give up on the treatment; give yourself the compassion and kindness that you show to others; take the time and space to seek support, heal and be empowered.

Guest Bio: Founder of Community Impact Consulting, Parul has been skillfully working in non-profit in various roles through the past decade, including as a community builder, consultant, programmer, and producer. After managing community grants for the largest government funder in Canada, she received much interest for continued collective impact by being asked to serve organizations in a variety of capacities. Her attraction to advocacy emerged with her work as a Queer South Asian freelance writer/poet, over two decades ago. She has a deep passion for ethics and social justice, which she teaches at Centennial College. She is also a huge advocate for mental health and wellness, collaborating with a variety of organizations to provide space and support.

Her approach to exchange is a high-engagement approach, encouraging participation through self-reflection, empathy, creativity, and common understanding. Parul has a deep appreciation for plants, playing plant mom to over 100 in her urban jungle. She also loves watching the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Blue Jays, as well as a lot of true crime.

Passionate about:

Community Mental Health at Toronto Western Hospital has been a great support:

https://www.uhn.ca/Medicine/Clinics/Community_Mental_Health

Rish takes time to open up and share aspects of her entire journey which she has not openly shared to others outside her social circle and made some poignant connections with grief literacy. Rish converses about the multi roles that she played being a daughter, caregiver to both her parents while studying in university and now wife and mother. She describes how tragedy she witnessed as very young adult has shaped her outlook on life and how she wants to make a difference for others to persevere regardless of what life might throw at an individual. She recounts her personal grief journey and how it took years to overcome and therefore ultimately laid the foundation for her own personal breast cancer journey at the young age of 37. She speaks about what it is like to grieve, having to get her life back on track at a young age, dealing with ongoing deaths, and her own personal health journey. Her key message to the listeners is that: everyone has their own personal issues which they undergo, but you don’t have to go through it alone. She encourages people to reach out to someone if they are going through something and she openly invites anyone who wants to chat and connect to do so.

Guest Bio: As a corporate professional with a diverse background in Procurement, Data Center Management and currently working as a Client Technology professional for RBC, Capital Markets, like many working mothers, Rish enjoys the balancing act of work, family, raising her five-year-old son and spending time with friends and family. What remains consistent in Rish’s life are lessons and experiences that have grounded her. As a cancer survivor herself, her commitment to making a difference in the cancer community and helping to empower women of all ages to be an advocate for their own health and to be cognizant of their bodies can make an important and positive impact.

She is a proud mama to three children, Brittany, Gordie, Aris, and her puppy Hugo. She is a sister to an amazing brother, Rizwan who has been her rock and she is grateful to her husband, Michael who has provided unwavering support throughout her own journey.

Passionate about:

Heart & Stroke Foundation www.heartandstroke.ca

Canadian Cancer Society www.cancer.ca

North York General Hospital – Breast Cancer Care https://www.nygh.on.ca/areas-care/cancer-care/breast-cancer-care

Farahana shares how she has encountered a great deal of emotional pain and suffering through her life and took the time to expose publicly for the first time the traumas of growing up. She discloses being raised in a household where her parents did not get along, there was physical abuse that she witnessed, and she learned to set her own needs aside to become her mother’s referee and protector. With vulnerability, Farahana shares that her parents today are not reflective of who they were while she was growing up and that she has always been protective of them, thus, keeping her true experiences to herself. She conveys deeply how embarrassing or hurting her parents in any way is not something she ever wished to do and is the reason why she has waited until present day to share this ‘untold’ part of her story. Farahana also uncovered a dysfunctional marriage that she was in and how she fought and tackled cancer. Part of the pivot in her spiritual journey is when she encountered mindfulness and learned how to leave the part of her life that was led by anger, rage, and confusion. It has taught her to shift her mindset, look at semantics and language to redirect her thoughts. Mindfulness has given her the ability to decipher between fact and narrative. Her key message to the listeners is that: as people, we aren’t always going to have it together — it takes work, even inner work will be a lot of work to tap into, inner work takes commitment on a daily basis, take time to look into the mirror without judgement and go through each layer, one at a time.

Guest Bio: Farahana is a published author and certified Mindfulness Meditation Coach. She is a firm believer that life happens for us, not to us. Her expertise focuses on bringing the practice of mindfulness and meditation to children, educators, parents and medical professionals in educational, therapeutic and corporate settings. Through formal training and seminars for adults and creative storytelling for younger audiences, Farahana uses her creativity and passion to bring mindfulness to everyone she serves. She continues to take her life experiences and turn them into her life purpose.  She says, “our life experiences can either be used as a step down or a step up and we have the power to decide what it will be”.

Farahana was born in Vancouver, Canada and raised in Nairobi, Kenya, and currently resides in Dallas, Texas. She is a mother to her beautiful 9-yr-old son and claims that she is here to live her best life yet.

Passionate about: All the programs and learning offered by Mindful Schools.  www.mindfulschools.org

Shirin’s untold story is mostly a told story at this point; however, she connects deeper to share vulnerable aspects that light is not often shed on. She speaks about two dysfunctional marriages she experienced and how it all started when she became a single mother. She moved to Canada to start her second marriage and quickly learned that this is not the life that was promised to her, while enduring a struggle with facial palsy and battling cancer. She spoke about a core theme of how being a woman is wrong, and how this message showed up intensely in both marriages. The message was so deeply embedded, that she felt there was something wrong with her, that she was the dysfunctional one, so it led her to put up with physical and emotional turmoil as she experienced what she felt was failure to thrive and shame for inabilities that were a constant message she repeatedly had to stomach. Shirin spoke about feeling torn to have been divorced in the first place as this went against her beliefs. There came a point where she recognized she needed to live a different life and walk a different path, which required her to take extreme risks. She describes impacts to her mental health, having post-partum depression, contemplating suicide, not having control of any finances or access to money, and being deprived of the truth. Her key message to the listeners is that: verbal, emotional and mental abuse is devastating, and no kind of abuse is okay; if you are experiencing any type of abuse, reach out to someone; you deserve help, you don’t deserve abuse; you don’t need to do it alone; it can get better; take control and know that you matter.

Guest Bio: Shirin is an inspirational international speaker, an award winning 5x international best-selling author, a resiliency coach for women and a proud single mother of four beautiful children. Her life’s work emphasizes how individuals can be true to themselves; how people can find their own inner North Star both in their professional and personal lives; and learn to break free from a ‘stuck’ mindset. Shirin is on a mission to empower and transform women who are victims of any kind of abuse.

Shirin is a founding member and the president of Immigrant Women in Business — an organization aimed at helping immigrant women from diverse backgrounds succeed as independent women and entrepreneurs. Shirin’s life-story of resilience has been translated into a film as part of the ‘Dream Big’ docuseries by Ethnic Channel Group. She has documented a great deal of her work with her viral videos with over 3 million views and has received multiple awards along the way.

Passionate about: Finds a great deal of value in the ‘Landmark’ programs. http://www.landmarkworldwide.com

Carys straight away delves into the sharing of her story, where she describes the gruesome night at age 11 where her father was murdered by a stranger who broke into their home, the impact it had on the family dynamics, surviving loss and re-stabilization. She shares that there was an almost immediate dis-ease that entered her body, telling her that she could never be safe or have fun and will need to plan out all parts of her life as she spent a great deal of time worrying. Twenty years later, she pursued the crime aspect of this loss and started to correspond with her father’s murder who was in jail — she describes that this changed her to the very core, and it was a path back to her own wellness, peace and moving forward. Through this journey, she adopted full steam perfectionism as a means for coping with life, prioritizing her education, and describes that she was a silent sufferer succeeding at life. Depression came about in a unique way for Carys accompanied with multiple subtleties that did not make it easy for her or mental health experts to put a finger on it until much later. Carys intimately shares after she met her father’s murderer, with two years of correspondence, that the dis-ease she had been plagued with, had finally left her body and she never felt it again. Her key message to the listeners is that: listen to that loving, gentle, safe, kind voice inside you — not the voice that is telling you what to do; tap into your inner voice; be open; access your voice through writing or meditation or another way; that inner voice that’s respecting you is the one to pay attention to; and if you listen to this voice, you could feel just a little bit better with good intentions.

Guest Bio: Carys’s first book, titled — ‘Dead Reckoning: How I Came to Meet the Man Who Murdered My Father’, tells the story of her correspondence and meeting with the incarcerated man who murdered her father when she was 11 years old. It was a Globe & Mail Best 100 Book of 2017, finalist for the 2018 Hubert Evans BC Book Prize, and finalist for the 2018 Governor General’s Literary Award. Carys is faculty and coordinator in the Child & Youth Care degree program at Douglas College in Metro Vancouver, BC, and is currently completing her Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership. She lives with her young son and loves to check out the rivers surrounding Port Coquitlam, BC. She can often be found brainstorming her next home design project, binge-watching crime tv, or waiting for the pandemic to end so she can go sit at coffee shops to read and write for much too long periods of time. 

Passionate about: Transformational/Restorative Justice and the folks at the Community Justice Initiatives in Langley, BC. https://www.cjibc.org/

Dr. Shemine Gulamhusein shares that as a young person she struggled to understand the value of reading, writing, along with finding her sense of belonging. It was only after she started to play sports actively in her pre-teen years that she began noticing an increased sense of self-worth and belonging and saw a significant improvement in her academics. She delved right in to share the difficulties that were brought on by expectations to meet certain developmental milestones — she explains the nuances of differences in development occurs differently, for any individual. She unveils how joy and passion were ignited within her as she continued with sport. Dr. Shemine has learned how her muscles twitch, and values how particular sensations help her to stay connected. She shares about the innate capacity her body acquires to signal to herself that she is safe or not in any given encounter. Dr. Shemine claims a much deeper underlying theme of ‘shame’ and how she felt misunderstood. She expresses after commencing with sport, her body twitches were rewarded, the movements started to make sense, and this sense of belonging was everything she required, and it brought herself to a place where she could feel that the people around her understood the world from her perspective. Her key message to the listeners is that: spend time learning your movements — take the space to create, develop, and express; to parents and caregivers, recognize and build awareness of the movements of others and get curious about them; power flow through those movements; there are multiple ways to move, so express yourself in different ways.

Guest Bio: Dr. Shemine Gulamhusein, Ph.D. in Child and Youth Care, believes in the power of movement and how each muscle within the body tells its own story. During the day, Dr. Shemine is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Child and Youth Care at MacEwan University, focusing on global perspectives, mental health, and family care.
Dr. Shemine’s research focuses on the intersection of recreation, development, race, culture, spirituality, and pre- and post- migration trauma. By night, if Dr. Shemine is not spending time with clients in her private practice at ‘Engaged Care and Counselling’, she allows her muscle twitches to guide her art creations, drive her physical activity, and enter and embrace unknown spaces. In her free time, she enjoys golfing and weaving.

Passionate about: Free Play For Kids. She is passionate about all organizations that offer accessible opportunities for BIPOC and immigrant youth!

Rishma unveils a heart-wrenching story about losing her husband to cancer and the journey through being his caregiver and knowing that their time together was limited. She described and detailed her husband’s character viewed by many — he was a magnet towards all people. She portrays that her personal grief journey is like that of peeling and unravelling of an onion, with each grief layer looking unalike, and therefore she embraces ‘grieving with gratitude’. She speaks about what it is like to grieve during the global pandemic, there were no traditional rites and rituals performed or known gatherings of family, friends, not being able to receive hugs from her heart connections, and how she had to run a completely different course than what was familiar to her. She takes time to open up her story to share aspects of the grief journey which she has not openly shared before and made some poignant connections with grief literacy. Rishma converses about the multi-roles that she played beyond being a wife and mother, she jumped into advocacy and detective hats to ensure that there was no compromise to her husband’s wellbeing and quality of life. She has learned the importance of soft skills and connecting with empathy. Her key message to the listeners is that: lots of people go through this alone — you don’t have to; be sure to reach out to someone; “reach out to me”; find resources, there are many in the community; each person has their own story filled with their own pain and loss — you are not alone.

Guest Bio: Change agent, Rishma Govani, is a seasoned strategic communications professional with 20+ years of experience in media relations and public affairs in environments with high profile issues and complex stakeholder relations. She is currently the Head of Communications for Global News and Corus Radio, a robust portfolio that includes 55 leading media brands across Canada. As a dynamic, empowered and passionate professional, she is committed to creating real positive change especially in areas of diversity, inclusion and acceptance.

In September 2020, she lost her beloved husband and partner, Aly, to cancer. He is her true north guiding her in the afterlife. She is passionate about normalizing grief, enhancing grief literacy and allowing people to feel comfortable (and even find humour) around topics that are not easy. She is the proud mama of Khalil, Mila and her new fur- baby, Hero, aptly named after his dad. She dares to believe.

Passionate about: Hope House Hospice; Princess Margaret Hospital