Episode 26: Failure Redefined: Processing Shame, Self-Blame + Worth

Guest: Shirin Ariff 

Shirin’s untold story is mostly a told story at this point; however, she connects deeper to share vulnerable aspects that light is not often shed on. She speaks about two dysfunctional marriages she experienced and how it all started when she became a single mother. She moved to Canada to start her second marriage and quickly learned that this is not the life that was promised to her, while enduring a struggle with facial palsy and battling cancer. She spoke about a core theme of how being a woman is wrong, and how this message showed up intensely in both marriages. The message was so deeply embedded, that she felt there was something wrong with her, that she was the dysfunctional one, so it led her to put up with physical and emotional turmoil as she experienced what she felt was failure to thrive and shame for inabilities that were a constant message she repeatedly had to stomach. Shirin spoke about feeling torn to have been divorced in the first place as this went against her beliefs. There came a point where she recognized she needed to live a different life and walk a different path, which required her to take extreme risks. She describes impacts to her mental health, having post-partum depression, contemplating suicide, not having control of any finances or access to money, and being deprived of the truth. Her key message to the listeners is that: verbal, emotional and mental abuse is devastating, and no kind of abuse is okay; if you are experiencing any type of abuse, reach out to someone; you deserve help, you don’t deserve abuse; you don’t need to do it alone; it can get better; take control and know that you matter.


Guest Bio: Shirin is an inspirational international speaker, an award winning 5x international best-selling author, a resiliency coach for women and a proud single mother of four beautiful children. Her life’s work emphasizes how individuals can be true to themselves; how people can find their own inner North Star both in their professional and personal lives; and learn to break free from a ‘stuck’ mindset. Shirin is on a mission to empower and transform women who are victims of any kind of abuse.

Shirin is a founding member and the president of Immigrant Women in Business — an organization aimed at helping immigrant women from diverse backgrounds succeed as independent women and entrepreneurs. Shirin’s life-story of resilience has been translated into a film as part of the ‘Dream Big’ docuseries by Ethnic Channel Group. She has documented a great deal of her work with her viral videos with over 3 million views and has received multiple awards along the way.


Passionate about: Finds a great deal of value in the ‘Landmark’ programs. http://www.landmarkworldwide.com