Episode 32: A Marriage + Divorce, Both Behind Closed Doors

Guest: Cindy Stibbard

Cindy conveys that no one really understands what a marriage is going through behind closed doors and what it is like to be married to a ‘covert narcissist’. She shares that this is a difficult personality to identify and has a grave impact on a person’s sense of worth and mental well-being. She describes the experience to include gas-lighting, subtle and unseen manipulations, and a great deal of oppression. Cindy mentioned that she was afraid of being alone, she wasn’t in a position of recognizing red flags, and in hindsight is able to now see that there was a parallel between the mannerisms of her father and husband of the time. She indicated during the midst of the marriage falling apart, she was reliant on substances and through the divorce, initially there was depression and a great deal of anxiety. Cindy’s experience taught her to rise above and put her game face on, though she says that sweeping issues under the rug didn’t make issues disappear, it only built up further until she felt lost. She shared that it took five years to come to terms with the need for divorce. She learned to lead, did her work to lead, not letting the lawyer be in the driver’s seat, she was able to call the shots and be the one in charge. Her key message to the listeners is that: take it slow, it’s a marathon not a sprint; you need more than just a lawyer for support; acquire third party support to help navigate the process; unpack the traumas that the divorce brings; and keep your focus on a response rather than a reaction.


Guest Bio: Cindy is the driven and compassionate leader and CEO behind ‘Divorce ReDefined’, a Vancouver-based separation and divorce coaching practice. Cindy sees that divorce can be a messy, stressful, and particularly raw experience and few truly understand the process, know their options or how to cope with and manage this major life transition most effectively. After going through her own divorce, Cindy felt inspired to help others successfully navigate this difficult time in their lives.


As a Certified Separation, Divorce, Career and Transition Coach, Cindy created her unique practice to help people on an international level through every stage of their divorce and beyond to redefining themselves in their new chapter of life. The goal of Cindy’s vision of creating Divorce ReDefined is to lead the charge of changing the experience of divorce. Living by the mantra, “When we know better, we do better”, she is on a mission to eradicate the stigma around divorce by redefining the entire experience.


Passionate about:

All the many professionals who are really coming together to change the experience of divorce and the many that have contributed in some way to Divorce ReDefined:  Website: www.divorceredefined.ca

Clubhouse: https://clubhousedb.com/user/redefinedivorce