Episode 49: Moral devastation. Questionable Choices. Shame Untangled. Unimaginable Outcomes

Guest: Jennifer Slay

Jennifer describes what she experienced as an emotional divorce, finding herself in a situation where she made a choice that she would have never thought could be something she would follow through with — an affair. She speaks about the consequences to her mental well-being and how it affected others. The big change in her life started when she came across the most devastating email. She openly shares that she found herself in the same place of where her husband was a few years earlier, being outside her comfort zone, and being at war with herself with regards to values and morals with that one decision she made at that time in her life. Jennifer became so unforgiving of herself for the choices that she made, she engaged in self-shaming, and expressed how alone she felt. She sat with the emotional pain and suffering until with support she gained the perspective that she can separate herself from the choice and not get consumed by the guilt of it. While it might have been a poor choice, it doesn’t negate her entire character and doesn’t define who she really is as a whole person. Jennifer speaks about taking responsibility for her actions and being accountable to herself and those involved. It took her a great deal of time to calm her inner critic and to stop seeing herself as a hypocrite. She learned to make peace with the idea that while her intention was never to hurt anyone, even though the impact of the actions did hurt people she cared most about. Her key message to the listeners is that: whatever you experience today, doesn’t have to define your tomorrow; believe you can get through; there is a lesson to learn, so take it and go forward; relish in great things; and don’t let negativity bias define your character.


Guest Bio: Jennifer is a dynamic motivational speaker, certified life coach, therapist, author, and trainer in the field of Social Work. She was chosen as one of the recipients of the Queen Elizabeth the II Diamond Jubilee medal in 2012 for her community work and as one of Canada’s women of confidence in the national publication, Chatelaine magazine.

Jennifer currently owns a private practice where she provides psychotherapeutic services and coaching to individuals primarily experiencing feelings of depression, anxiety and/or immobility.  She is an educator and has created workshops, online programs and delivered various speeches that support and encourage people to overcome fear to reach their full potential.  Her latest endeavors have been creating educational platforms through All Women L.E.A.D. workshops, anti-racism training through Shifting Perspectives and co-produced an award-winning TV show on Rogers TV called Melanated View.  As of the fall of 2021, Jennifer has been hosting the local community television show, What’s Up London. Jennifer lives by the motto – ‘to whom much is given, much is required’ – and she is prepared to share and grow with others.


Passionate about:  

Congress of Black Women https://cbwc-ontario.org/