Guest: Salima Jadavji the hostess herself, interviewed by Stephanie Hanley
Salima dares to share for a second time, tying her initial interview revealing herself as a miracle baby, and now expanding on multiple themes that presented in the deep layers of perfectionism. She explores the underlying themes and narratives that have fuelled perfectionism in her lifetime, such as feeling defective resulting from health challenges; contending with the idea of not feeling truly seen because of feeling “defective”; getting consumed by fears and anxieties held by her immediate family members, and some patterns rooted in cultural norms, family dynamics, sibling hierarchy, and facing differential treatment due to gender. Perfectionism didn’t always show up in blatant ways for Salima, it would sneak up on her, in activities she was passionate about pursuing, within the academic realm, and perfectionism disguised as procrastination. She identified with old narratives housed in the back of her mind, like they always know better, anything that must get done must be perfect to avoid consequence, feelings of paralyses would come over her when she was faced with new tasks, just drowning in fear-based assumptions, and thought spirals. She also identified with this need to sort what she could control and how much she would want to control, with this idea, if she could just prepare a little more or do this one thing differently than she could fix or anticipate what was to come. Her key message to the listeners of the show is: If you’re a perfectionist, own it and work through it; lean into the discomfort bit by bit; get in touch with the stories that you tell yourself and check out the facts; perfectionism can be unlearned; allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect and recognize that striving for perfectionism is toxic, instead, embrace your true authentic self.