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Salima and Mary on Dare to Share Your Untold Story Podcast
07AprApril 7, 2021

Episode 14: She Learned the True Meaning of ‘In Sickness and In Health’

Salima Jadavji2021-08-31T18:58:58-04:00

Guest: Mary VolintiruMary takes the plunge and dives right in to speak about what it is like to go through an already long journey of her and her partner to be together, and then to be hit with a curveball when she least expected. She shares about how she quickly went...

By Salima Jadavjimental health, podcast#podcast #mentalhealthLike: 0
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Hey there, Dare to 'Heal-er' When life feels over Hey there, Dare to 'Heal-er' When life feels overwhelming, do you give yourself permission to pause? For many people, slowing down can feel uncomfortable. You may feel like you should keep going, stay productive, or finish everything before you allow yourself to rest. But constantly operating at full capacity can leave very little room for your mind and body to recover. You may find yourself: 💜 Continuing even when you are exhausted. 💜 Staying productive when you know you need a break. 💜 Pushing through because stopping feels uncomfortable. 💜 Feeling guilty when you take time for yourself. 💜 Waiting until you reach your limit before allowing yourself to rest. Over time, pushing through can become automatic. You may become so used to functioning on empty that you stop noticing how much you actually need a pause. But taking a break does not mean you are falling behind. Sometimes, stepping away creates the space you need to breathe, reconnect with yourself, and return with greater clarity. Giving yourself permission to pause may look like: 💜 Taking a few minutes away from what you are doing. 💜 Noticing what your body is asking for. 💜 Letting yourself rest before you reach burnout. 💜 Creating moments where you do not have to be productive. 💜 Allowing yourself to slow down without judging yourself for it. You do not have to wait until you are completely depleted before you pause. Healing can begin with a simple question: “What would it feel like to give myself permission to pause?” Explore therapy in Ontario, Canada, here: www.daretoheal.co/book Salima Jadavji, MSW, RSW, C.Hyp™ #SelfCare #MentalBeauty #SelfCompassion #EmotionalWellbeing #BurnoutRecovery #MentalHealthAwareness #DareToHeal
There is a particular kind of strength that comes There is a particular kind of strength that comes from recognizing when you do not have to carry everything alone. For some people, asking for help can feel uncomfortable. It may bring up thoughts like: 💜 “I should be able to figure this out myself.” 💜 “I do not want to be a burden.” 💜 “Other people have enough going on.” 💜 “I should be able to handle this.” You may find yourself: 💜 Waiting until you feel completely overwhelmed before reaching out. 💜 Feeling uncomfortable showing vulnerability. 💜 Taking care of everyone else while putting your own needs aside. 💜 Trying to solve everything on your own. 💜 Believing that needing support means you are not strong enough. For many people, these patterns develop over time. You may have learned that independence means handling things yourself. You may have learned to keep going even when you are exhausted. You may have learned that asking for help feels uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or even unsafe. But needing support does not make you incapable. It does not take away your independence. And it does not mean you have failed. Mental beauty can look like recognizing when you need support and allowing yourself to receive it. This may look like: 💜 Acknowledging when something feels difficult. 💜 Asking for help before you reach your limit. 💜 Allowing trusted people to support you. 💜 Treating your needs with the same care you offer others. 💜 Recognizing that independence and support can exist together. Asking for help can be an act of self-trust, self-compassion, and courage. You do not have to prove that you can carry everything alone. If you are navigating burnout, anxiety, self-esteem, or emotional wellbeing, support is available. Explore virtual therapy in Ontario, Canada, with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co Salima Jadavji, MSW, RSW, C.Hyp™ #MentalBeauty #SelfCompassion #AnxietySupport #TherapyOntario #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfTrust #DareToHeal
Have you ever avoided an emotion because you were Have you ever avoided an emotion because you were afraid it would become too much? Sometimes, difficult emotions can feel uncomfortable enough that we want to distract ourselves, push them away, or move on as quickly as possible. You may tell yourself: “I don’t want to think about this.” “I just need to get over it.” “If I let myself feel this, I might not be able to stop.” But feeling an emotion does not mean you are going to become consumed by it. You can experience an emotion while still staying connected to yourself. This may look like: 💜 Noticing what you are feeling without judging yourself for it. 💜 Allowing an emotion to be present without immediately trying to change it. 💜 Becoming curious about what the feeling may be communicating. 💜 Giving yourself time and space to process what you are experiencing. 💜 Returning your attention to the present when the emotion begins to feel overwhelming. Emotional processing is not about staying in an emotion forever. It is about allowing yourself to acknowledge what is happening instead of constantly needing to avoid it. You can feel sadness without letting it define you. You can feel anger without acting on it. You can feel anxiety without allowing it to make every decision for you. You can feel something deeply and still move forward. Sometimes, making space for an emotion is what allows it to move through you rather than becoming something you continually have to push away. Healing can involve learning that difficult emotions can be felt, understood, and responded to without letting them take over. If this resonates and you are navigating emotional overwhelm, anxiety, self-criticism, or difficulty processing emotions, therapy can provide a space to explore these experiences with support. Explore therapy and Mental Beauty with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co With care, Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hyp™ #EmotionalWellness #EmotionalProcessing #MentalBeauty #SelfCompassion #TherapyOntario #EmotionalAwareness #DareToHeal
Have you ever noticed that anxiety can show up in Have you ever noticed that anxiety can show up in your body before you even realize you are feeling anxious? Anxiety is not always experienced as racing thoughts or obvious worry. Sometimes, your body responds first. You may notice: 💜 Your heart suddenly starts racing. 💜 Your body feels tense or restless. 💜 Your breathing becomes faster or shallower. 💜 Your stomach feels unsettled or uncomfortable. 💜 You feel shaky, sweaty, overheated, or chilled. 💜 You feel the urge to escape, withdraw, or shut down. 💜 You feel on edge even when you know you are safe. 💜 You feel physically exhausted after periods of stress. These physical responses can happen when your nervous system detects stress or a potential threat. You may even know logically that you are okay while your body continues responding as though something is wrong. Learning to recognize these signals can help you better understand the anxiety experienced and notice when your body may need a pause, support, or space to regulate. You do not have to wait until anxiety becomes overwhelming before paying attention to what your body is telling you. If you are experiencing anxiety, persistent stress, or physical symptoms that are affecting your everyday life, therapy can provide a space to understand these patterns and develop strategies that support your well-being. Explore therapy with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hyp™ #AnxietySupport #AnxietyAwareness #NervousSystem #MentalHealthAwareness #EmotionalWellbeing #TherapySupport #DareToHeal
Have you ever noticed that making a decision can f Have you ever noticed that making a decision can feel easier than trusting the decision afterward? Sometimes, the questioning starts almost immediately. It sounds like: 💜 “Did I make the right choice?” 💜 “Maybe I should have chosen the other option.” 💜 “I need to think about this a little more.” 💜 “What if I regret this later?” Sometimes, thinking things through is helpful. It gives you space to consider your options, reflect on what matters to you, and make an intentional choice. But sometimes, second-guessing can become a way of trying to find certainty that may not exist. It can keep you analyzing, comparing, and looking for reassurance long after you already have enough information to decide. You may notice this pattern when you: 💜 Revisit decisions after you have already made them. 💜 Ask others what they think before trusting your own judgment. 💜 Keep researching even when you already have enough information. 💜 Focus mostly on what could go wrong. 💜 Wonder whether another choice would have been better. These patterns are ways of responding to uncertainty. Your brain naturally looks for information that can help you feel safe and prepared. But sometimes, the search for certainty can make it harder to trust yourself and move forward. A helpful reflection: 💜 Do I need more information, or am I looking for reassurance? 💜 What am I afraid might happen if I make the wrong choice? 💜 Can I trust myself to handle the outcome, even if it is not what I expected? Self-trust is learning that you can make a thoughtful choice, respond to what happens, and adjust when needed. If you are noticing patterns of anxiety, overthinking, reassurance-seeking, or difficulty making decisions, therapy can support you in building greater self-awareness and self-trust. Explore support here: www.daretoheal.co/book Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hyp™ #AnxietySupport #SelfTrust #SelfAwareness #Overthinking #DecisionMaking #EmotionalWellbeing #DareToHeal
Do you feel like you have to get everything right? Do you feel like you have to get everything right? For many people, perfectionism can make even small mistakes feel much bigger than they are. You may find that you: 💜 Check and recheck your work. 💜 Second-guess decisions after you have already made them. 💜 Compare yourself to what others seem to be accomplishing. 💜 Feel like your efforts are never quite enough. 💜 Put things off because you are worried you will not do them perfectly. 💜 Are much harder on yourself for mistakes than you would be with someone else. This perfectionism can create a cycle of high expectations, pressure, self-criticism, and exhaustion. You may have learned to focus on what could have been better instead of recognizing what you have already accomplished. Over time, this can make it difficult to feel satisfied with your work, decisions, or progress. Breaking free from perfectionism can begin with small shifts: 💜 Notice when perfectionism is driving your choices. 💜 Pay attention to thoughts like “I should do better.” 💜 Ask whether your expectations are realistic. 💜 Practice responding to mistakes with more compassion. 💜 Remind yourself that progress does not require perfection. You can care about doing things well without needing everything to be perfect. If perfectionism, anxiety, or self-criticism are leaving you feeling exhausted, therapy can help you explore these patterns and develop a healthier relationship with expectations, mistakes, and self-worth. Learn more about therapy and support with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co With care, Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hyp™ #DareToHeal #Perfectionism #AnxietySupport #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth
Do you find yourself saying 'yes' when you really Do you find yourself saying 'yes' when you really want to say 'no'? You may find yourself thinking: “I don’t want to upset them,” or “It’s easier if I just go along with it.” The fawn response is a stress response that can involve adapting to others to avoid conflict, rejection, or feeling unsafe. It may look like the following: 💜 Struggling to say 'no'. 💜 Automatically agreeing with others. 💜 Hiding your needs to avoid conflict. 💜 Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. 💜 Changing yourself to feel accepted or safe. If you are used to keeping the peace or making sure everyone else is okay, prioritizing your own needs can feel uncomfortable. You may have learned to monitor other people’s reactions. You may have learned that keeping others happy helps you feel safer. Over time, these responses can make it difficult to know what you actually want or need. Understanding your patterns can be a starting point for change. You can begin by noticing: 💜 When you say 'yes' automatically. 💜 When you apologize even when you have done nothing wrong. 💜 When you prioritize someone else’s comfort over your own. 💜 When setting a boundary brings up guilt or anxiety. Developing greater self-awareness can create space for stronger boundaries, self-trust, and more authentic relationships. If you recognize yourself in these patterns, trauma-informed therapy can help you understand your responses and explore new ways of navigating relationships and stress. Explore virtual therapy in Ontario, Canada, with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co With care, Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hyp™ #FawnResponse #TraumaResponse #TraumaInformedTherapy #Boundaries #SelfTrust #DareToHeal
Sometimes, we treat every request, message, respon Sometimes, we treat every request, message, responsibility, and expectation as though it requires an immediate response. You may find yourself: 💜 Responding to messages even when you need time to yourself. 💜 Saying 'yes' because saying 'no' feels uncomfortable. 💜 Feeling responsible for how other people feel. 💜 Continuing to give your attention to situations that consistently drain you. 💜 Feeling guilty when you choose not to engage. But setting boundaries is recognizing that your attention, energy, and emotional capacity are limited resources. Not every problem needs your involvement, and not every uncomfortable feeling needs to be resolved by you. So how can you set boundaries to support yourself? Sometimes, a boundary can sound like: “I need some time to think about that.” “I’m not available for this right now.” “I can help with this, but I cannot take on everything.” “I understand that this is important to you, but I need to take care of my own needs too.” You are allowed to let some things become quieter. Therapy can be a space to explore boundaries, understand the patterns that make them difficult, and develop ways of communicating your needs with greater confidence and self-trust. Explore virtual therapy in Ontario, Canada, with Dare to Heal: www.daretoheal.co With care, Salima Jadavji, M.S.W., R.S.W., C.Hyp™ #MentalHealthAwareness #HealthyBoundaries #BoundarySetting #SelfCompassion #EmotionalWellbeing #DareToHeal
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